


He Lives In You

by FalconHorus



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-28
Updated: 2011-08-28
Packaged: 2017-10-23 04:21:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/246234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FalconHorus/pseuds/FalconHorus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Three people saying goodbye.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Colonel Jack O'Neill

**Author's Note:**

> First published in 2003. Edited for publishing here.
> 
> Spoiler: Meridian

_'Wait! There's no mountain too great.'_

I'm standing here, on top of Cheyenne Mountain, looking at the evening sky. I count millions of stars, and today, I know, one more has joined them. I still don't understand what went through his mind. He wasn't thinking about saving himself. No, he wanted to be a hero and saved millions from a horrible death, knowing well enough it would kill him and ... it did.

 _'Hear these words and have faith.'_

He's not really dead but he is gone, ascended to some higher plane of existence. We tried to save him but he wouldn't let us and he asked me to ask Jacob to stop healing him and ... I did. I saw the pain I caused by letting him go. I've never seen Doc like that before, not even when Cassie was sick. She looked at me when he flat lined, calling out to me questioningly. They all did for that matter but she was the only one who actually questioned his decision. She and Jacob, but Jacob himself had said that he wasn't going to be able to restore him to his full health.

 _'Have faith!'_

"I'm gonna miss you guys!"

I still see and hear him saying that and I know that he feels sorry for leaving us behind. I smiled at him, gave him the feeling that everything was going to be fine. I would make sure of that. I am going to make sure of that.

 _'He lives in you.'_

I found Carter in her lab, fidgeting with one of her toys and I just knew she wasn't coping. As soon as she saw me she started crying and asked me why. I didn't know why. All I could tell her was that he continues to live on in our hearts.

 _'He lives in me.'_

I, for one, will cherish his memory and his friendship in my heart. He continues to live right there next to Charlie.

 _'He watches over...'_

I know he's still with us on missions and that he will look out for us. He's our guardian angel now. I know he won't let anything happen to his friends. He may have left us ... me, but I just know that he's still around in some form.

 _'...Everything we see.'_

I know that if he could see us now he would try everything in his power to make the pain go away. But he will know that it will take some time because we all loved him. He was more like family. We had a bond, which is now broken and needs healing. But will it ever heal?

 _'Into the water...'_

Earlier, before I came up here, I took a long hot shower, trying to wash away the pain of his loss but I couldn't get rid of it. I really liked him and yes, he could be an occasional pain-in-the-ass but the man was our conscience whenever we stumbled upon some ethical problem.

 _'...Into the truth.'_

The truth is, he knew that by saving those people from making the biggest mistake in their lives, he would sacrifice his own life. He knew he was going to die. He even explained to me the details of how he was slowly going to succumb to the radiation. I didn't want to hear but I felt he needed to talk to someone about it.

 _'In your reflection.'_

I know I'm going to miss him. I will miss the little discussions he always had when we met a new civilization, the comments on how I should organize my life, the way he looked when I told him I was the one in charge. The way he always ended up in the infirmary, the nights I spend at his bedside praying for him not to die on me. When I first met him, I never thought we would become such good friends. I never thought I was one day going to tell him that, even though he could be a real pain-in-the-ass, I liked him and that SG-1 will never be the same without him.

 _'He lives in you.'_

"Goodbye Spacemonkey! Take care wherever you may be!"

I smile one last time at the stars and breath in the cold evening air before I walk back down the mountain, to be with my remaining kids, to offer them comfort in this troubling time.


	2. Major Sam Carter

_'Wait! There's no mountain too great.'_

I'm sitting here on top of Cheyenne Mountain, surrounded by the evening air and small trees. I feel warm tears flowing down my cheeks. I can't stop them. Today I lost a dear friend ... today I lost Daniel.

 _'Hear these words and have faith.'_

He wasn't afraid to die, not that he really died. He ascended to some higher plain of existence, like Orlin. He can come back and become solid again, just like Orlin. But maybe he doesn't want to; maybe this is the way he can fulfill his destiny.

 _'Have faith!'_

Colonel O'Neill asked Dad to stop healing him. He said that Daniel wanted this ascension to happen but he never spoke about it. Why did he confide in Jack? Why didn't he ask me? I could have stopped him. I could have asked him to stay. Colonel O'Neill told me it was going to be okay but how can it be okay? Daniel is gone.

 _'He lives in you.'_

I told him that Jonas stole some of the Naquadria for us and that it had been a big risk. He said it was because of what he had done. I think it could be important but it can't bring you back to us ... to me. I told him that he has an effect on people.

 _'He lives in me.'_

At least he had one on me. And all I needed was five years to realize that. The way he looked at things, it changed all of us too. I saw what really mattered. I told him that people always wait to tell others how they really feel about each other. I hoped he knew that I loved him ... I loved him like a brother.

 _'He watches over...'_

I know he'll be watching us from up there, just like Orlin watched me. He'll watch us go on missions, he'll watch us win our fight against the Goa'uld. I know he'll watch us when we forgive Jonas but I don't know yet if I can forgive him or his people for what they did to Daniel. It's because of their ignorance that I have lost a dear friend and brother.

 _'...Everything we see.'_

I know whenever I'll see a ruin or a rock I'll think of him. And I'll know he will be watching me and silently telling me it's not a rock but an artifact. I can't help but smile as I think of the many times Daniel and Colonel O'Neill had their happy little chat about the 'rocks'.

 _'Into the water...'_

I feel the first raindrops fall and somehow it's like Mother Nature is crying for the loss of Daniel too. Maybe this is the way Oma Desala wants us to know she will look after him. Or maybe this is Daniel's doing showing he feels sad for leaving us. I can only hope and wish.

 _'...Into the truth.'_

Jonas told his government the truth about what had happened in the lab and he had seen their faces when he had informed them about the power of the Naquadria. He felt guilty for what had happened and I can see him suffer from it. He left his planet and brought some of it back but I don't know if the Naquadria is safe in the hands of our leaders. I made a bomb for them once with Naquada. It blew a planet to pieces and almost took Earth along with it. They could ask me again and might even use the bomb on Earth, blowing our beautiful planet into oblivion. Mom taught me to tell the truth ... and truth be told I am afraid I might one day create that one piece of technology that would do just that, destroy the planet and leave the universe to the Goa'uld.

 _'In your reflection.'_

Tomorrow when I wake up and look into the mirror I'll see two blue eyes stare back at me, wondering where it will go from here. To be honest, I don't know. It will be so different without him with us. I don't know if I will be able to continue this madness without him by our side.

 _'He lives in you.'_

"Goodbye Daniel! I'll miss you!"

I whisper to the wind and I hope he can hear me.

"Until we meet again?"

I don't mean this to sound like a question but it does and in some strange way I want him to tell me or at least give me some sign that he'll be back. He will always live inside that special place in my heart, only reserved to very dear friends and family. Daniel lives on in all of us, he won't be forgotten.

"Farewell little brother!"


	3. Doctor Janet Fraiser

_'Wait! There's no mountain too great.'_

I'm sitting in my backyard, looking at the beautiful night sky filled with hundreds of stars, one brighter than the other. I had to leave the closed spaces of the mountain. I hug myself like he used to do. I still can't grasp the idea he's not around anymore. I still don't know if I had to note the time of death or the time of ascension to some higher plane of existence. It slowly starts to sink in that he's gone for good ... or maybe not. It's all so confusing.

 _'Hear these words and have faith.'_

I can still hear Colonel O'Neill tell Jacob to stop, as he somehow knew that was what he wanted. I still can't believe he could do that. How could he do that to his best friend? I know I reacted a little too emotional. It wasn't the doctor who questioned his decision; it was I the woman behind the doctor.

 _'Have faith!'_

I told Cassie what had happened to him. When she came home from school she just knew something was wrong. She said she had felt a shiver at about 3 in the afternoon, one she couldn't explain. I had to try so hard to keep my tears from falling once again as I knew it had been around that time that he had left us ... me to join the ethereal beings.

 _'He lives in you.'_

Cassie is the only one who knows what he really meant to me and she tried so hard to comfort me by telling me there's a little bit of him in all of us; his strength to keep going no matter what happened, his childish look when he found a new artifact to play with. She even joked about our allergies and it made me smile for just a second.

 _'He lives in me.'_

I know he lives in me. He'll always have a special place in my heart, right next to the one Cassie's occupying and her fluffy dog, even though the animal makes me sneeze a lot.

 _'He watches over...'_

I wonder if he'll watch over us...

 _'...Everything we see.'_

...If he'll be able to see how we manage our lives now that he...

 _'Into the water...'_

I feel the tears slowly make their way down again. I feel so empty without him...

 _'...Into the truth.'_

I admire him for sacrificing his life to save millions of innocents. That's so like him. I even have some sympathy for Jonas, who gave us a chance to study the Naquadria and find out about its potential. But I don't know if that's a good thing. It still doesn't bring him back to us ... to me. I wished he had chosen life over ascension, even though Jacob wasn't able to restore him to his full strength. The truth is, whether I want to or not, I hate him for leaving me ... us.

 _'In your reflection.'_

I asked General Hammond for some time off, which he granted me, albeit reluctantly. I know that I need some time to sort things out. When I look in the mirror tomorrow I want to know if I'm looking at myself or at the woman that failed to save the man she started to fall in love with.

 _'He lives in you.'_

"Farewell, Daniel! I love you and I will miss you dearly!"


End file.
